Author: Jordan G Estabrook
Weak men and manipulative women embrace the opposite of their ideal qualities.
I was watching a Jordan Peterson interview with Bill Maher, which came out quite recently. He painted the picture of women's equivalent to male’s physical violence: gossip and tearing down someone’s reputation for their own gain. It can be reputational or pure emotional satisfaction. Ironically, the good reputation they think they're gaining is not so. The gossiper tends to be regarded as untrustworthy, as Proverbs 20:19 points out:
““A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man [or woman] who talks too much.”
Here’s a good definition of gossip:
“Gossip is when you have a malice of intent or mindless, third-party conversation to someone about someone, something you haven’t said to that someone.” - Iyanla Vanzant
Gossip and manipulation go hand in hand. Gossip is meant to manipulate something, isn’t it? Whether it’s to stir people towards liking them or believing something harmful about someone else, manipulation is happening to create a false reality for themselves, and the person(s) being gossiped about.
Quite obviously, the opposite of men's strength is weakness. There are two different types of weak men (I’m sure there are more, but these two immediately come to mind).
A weak man can be physically brutal, lash out and have uncontrollable damaging behavior (drugs, alcohol, sex, etc). He lacks self-control, a sign of weakness. The mark of a man is his ability to control and regulate his emotions and body. Practicing martial arts or another fighting technique illustrates this concept. You can’t just flail your body around hoping to hit someone. You have to learn discipline, body regulation and to focus your mind. This is what creates a strong, yet gentle, man.
Gentle is not to be confused with weak, though. Weak, passive men are incapable of being gentle. This is the second type. In order to be gentle, one must withhold and control strength. Passive men have no strength to withhold. This is the second type of weak man seen in society. Richard E Simmons III, author of The True Measure of a Man, offers this insight:
“But at the heart of character is the ability to restrain our desires. As a man grows in character, he builds the muscles of self-restraint.”
When men and women don’t nurture and discipline their inherent strengths, the inherent weaknesses overtake them like a pesky weed, ultimately destroying everything it touches.
Instead, men must restrain their passivity and exercise their strength in sacrifice, building character and pursuing wisdom. Women must withhold their desire to slander and gossip and replace it with nurture, encouragement and pursuing wisdom and truth. This is not to say that women can’t also deal with anger or men with slander. Struggle with whatever moral flaw suits you. Self-control and pride remain at center.
To some extent, every man and woman struggles with this. It is natural, after all. Humanity is morally depraved. That is why the fight within is so great. Theodore Roosevelt described it as this:
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doers of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, and comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”
To the woman who gossips on the sideline, there is no fight in her. She has succumbed to that desire. To the passive, weak man, he remains seated. There’s no motivation in him. But to the women and men who chose to fight against their prevalent moral flaws, they might know victory over themselves, and reap the success of a fruitful, purposeful life.
The question is what each man and woman will chose.
The views expressed in this article are the author’s and do not necessarily represent those of Resident Skeptics.